Relationships

Yesterday I was reminded how far I have come regarding food. It was always an unhealthy relationship and there was a lot of abuse involved. I abused the food, and in return, the food abused my body.

Mum and I were picking up an order of fries to share from McDonald's when she commented on the new "festive" dipping sauces. I paused for a second and then confessed, "You know, there was a time I used to get excited about new menu items from McDonald's".

Wow.

Just over two years ago I discovered that I am a food addict and a compulsive over eater. I had very damaging beliefs about food and I am very sensitive (allergic even?) to sugar, flour, and caffeine. When you don't want to cope with feelings or events, substance abuse can happen. My addiction of choice was food.

After some extensive reading, I made the commitment to remove flour, sugar and caffeine from my diet. Thanks to the support of my hubby, we cleared the entire house of contraband. I cried over my first "clean" meal.  I can honestly say that this was the hardest thing I have ever done. Yes, even harder than childbirth, because at the end of my labour I had my beautiful baby.

After giving it all up I felt that I had nothing. Actually I felt like I had lost my best friend. Food was my hobby, my passion, my comfort. The food network was my porn. I justified this by saying I was a "foodie". Nope, I am a food addict.

Who knows how this came to be. Nature or nurture, that's the age old debate isn't it? Either way it doesn't matter. It was a rough transition but the outcome was so worth it. Yes it is a pain that I can't eat whatever I want but it's just food. Food didn't make me fat. Food is neutral. It was my relationship with food that made me overweight.

Now food is energy and I have relationships with people. :)


FYI: These books were the eye openers I needed to make the change.

Food Addiction: The Body Knows

Why Can't I Stop Eating?

The Emotional Eater's Book of Inspiration