Another Tuesday, another improvement. The water consumption is getting better. I drink a glass of water every time feed little one and another glass after I put him down to sleep. I have to go down to the lobby to get my newspaper, so this motivates me to get dressed and attend to my maquillage, before stepping out my door. I have amended my efforts not to complain specifically for exercise, I'll build on it later. Still working on the procrastination. :)

Today's improvement is conscious eating. (I feel dread just writing this.) I am perfectly happy to read, multi-task, surf the net,or watch TV when eating. Apparently this is not good for your digestion or weight loss efforts. (Yah think?) Every time I have tried focusing on what I am eating, a panicky feeling bubbles up inside of me. For some reason, I don't want awareness.

This morning I tried again. Breakfast was a small bowl, (so it looks like a bigger portion), of yogurt and granola. The trick to conscious eating is to take a small bite, put down your utensils, sit back, chew, and enjoy. The panicky feeling started to come back again. This time, I just breathed, let it pass, and guess what? I felt guilty for feeling pleasure and enjoying my food!

What?!?! After twenty years of dieting I have convinced myself that food is the enemy. The message I received every time I ate, was that food should not be enjoyed with that much pleasure. (Just in case I got the idea that eating was okay, and heaven forbid I should enjoy myself). Eureka! A breakthrough at last!

So this week I shall be consciously aware of eating my food and allowing myself to enjoy it. Hah!